Sometimes we find ourselves frustrated with a student and we just want to get a pound of flesh from them. We want them to pay for making teaching hard. Certain students know how to push our buttons and get us off our game. We want them to have a punishment that makes them feel bad for what they've done. I've been there, often. I've never had a relationship get better, or behavior really, when I get a kid in big trouble and then feel like I have won.
It is possible to get out of that negative way of seeing a particularly hard student. You can do this by remembering a time when you were patient with a student that you particularly connected with. One that you enjoyed talking to. A student that you were willing to give the the benefit of the doubt to. Think back to how you felt when interacting with that student. Pay attention to the feelings of kindness and caring that you had toward them. Then approach the difficult student with that same feeling of caring and compassion. The Arbringer Institute, in the Anatomy of Peace calls this 'getting out of the box'.
Sometimes, when you are struggling with a student and you are frustrated a weird thing happens. You get into a place where you actually need that student to act badly so that you can be justified in your feelings toward them. That is a scary place to be because by the time you are there, you might find that you are treating the student in a way to provoke the behavior that you don't (but do) want. If you notice yourself being caught in this pattern, looking back into your memory to find something that you appreciate about that child can help to change the pattern. Getting 'out of the box' by remembering good interactions with other students can also help you to repair your way of being toward them.
By the way... this also works with adults too.
It is possible to get out of that negative way of seeing a particularly hard student. You can do this by remembering a time when you were patient with a student that you particularly connected with. One that you enjoyed talking to. A student that you were willing to give the the benefit of the doubt to. Think back to how you felt when interacting with that student. Pay attention to the feelings of kindness and caring that you had toward them. Then approach the difficult student with that same feeling of caring and compassion. The Arbringer Institute, in the Anatomy of Peace calls this 'getting out of the box'.
Sometimes, when you are struggling with a student and you are frustrated a weird thing happens. You get into a place where you actually need that student to act badly so that you can be justified in your feelings toward them. That is a scary place to be because by the time you are there, you might find that you are treating the student in a way to provoke the behavior that you don't (but do) want. If you notice yourself being caught in this pattern, looking back into your memory to find something that you appreciate about that child can help to change the pattern. Getting 'out of the box' by remembering good interactions with other students can also help you to repair your way of being toward them.
By the way... this also works with adults too.
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